How do I explain the need I feel inside of me to give of myself to help a child who needs the special attention only a mother can give? How do I let you know that all my life i’ve tried to find what I would be really good at and enjoy and because of work and such I messed up on the chance I had with my own children. To be able to Prove that I am a good Mother and can take care and help nurture a baby is all that I wish. whether it be for a couple days a week, month or year. I Know this would be temporary but it is a way I can give back for the help that I had received at times.. Who knows maybe I wont be able to. I’ve still not found out if I can or not but the point is I want to at least try to do this. I want to be able to help out in the small way that I am capable of doing. To bring back meaning in my life and to realize that I am a good mother and can help pass on some love and attention I should have stayed home to give my own children. I understand you don’t want any children but I’m not asking you to take care of a child, I will be doing that. all I am asking is that you can support me in trying to do this. if it doesn’t work out then I can say that I tried having a child here in the home will change things some for us but not how much I love you. believe me I wont neglect you for a child my love. I don’t know if that is what your worried about. I just want this opportunity to show to myself that I can do this and to be able to bring some hope to a childs eyes when things are not going the way they should with their family. I’m not asking to adopt a child far from it. I just want to take care of children ages from newborn to 4 years old. I wouldn’t want any older. I can’t donate my time to helping some other organization because that will prove nothing to me about my ability to be a mother. maybe some day I will do that but for now I want to hold a baby play with babies and take care of them. and in doing so I can guarentee that I wont be playing EQ anymore because I wont have time between spending time with the man I love and taking care of a child who needs our support temporarily. Please think about it. I love you very much and I really want to do this with all my heart. i’ve thought about this for a long time which is why i’ve not played EQ in the last 3 days by the way. I want to feel like i’m successful with something i’ve always wanted to do since I was a little girl and at the moment I don’t feel like I have been. also on the upside I know it isn’t much but the state does pay for taking care of children. I think it is around 6 or 800 a month which would be a big help with our bills atm. and who knows I might find something durring the time of taking care of a child that I could make money at. it will be very theraputic for me. I hope you will think about this and understand that being a foster parent is not a perminant placement for any child it is only temporary and I will limit it to one child at a time. I hope you don’t deny me of this because it makes me very sad that you wont support me with this venture and it is something I can do. only other alternative is for me to get a liscense to be a daycare for babies if unable to be a foster parent but I still need to find out if I can be a foster parent. I’ve not been able to find out yet. Think about it. I love you